


Flags

by mollysynthetic



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Asexual Character, Do Not Archive (The Magnus Archives), Internalized Acephobia, M/M, Set in Episodes 159-160 | Scottish Safehouse Period (The Magnus Archives), unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28699797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollysynthetic/pseuds/mollysynthetic
Summary: Ficlet written for Aspec Archives Week, for the prompt 'pride'. Martin and Jon have a talk about pride and identity.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66
Collections: Aspec Archives Week





	Flags

**Author's Note:**

> I am tagging this with internalised acephobia, although I would say that is up to the reader to decide if it's actually internalised acephobia or just Jon not understanding the concept of pride.

Martin wears two braided bracelets on his left wrist. They're faded and frayed from years of wear, so unless you look closely you might not notice the rainbow pattern of the first, never mind the more muted colour scheme of the second. Jon certainly didn't, for all the times Martin put a cup of tea in front of him and they must have been there, right in front of him in plain sight.

Signalling something.

Then again, he didn't notice the freckles on that hand either, or the soft hairs that turn golden in the sun.

It only took fourteen fears and a run for their lives for him to notice a lot of things.

"I know what the rainbow one means", he tells Martin. "What about this one?" He hooks a finger under the purple-grey one.

Martin looks up at him, a questioning look in his eyes.

"You don't know?"

"Should I?"

"Well, I would've thought… I don't know. It's the ace pride colours."

"Ace." Jon tastes the word.

"You know. Asexual." Martin sits up a little, which is a bit of a struggle: the sofa in Daisy's safehouse is at the stage where it's more a suggestion of furniture than actual structure.

"You know what that is, right?" Martin prompts.

"Yeah, I know the word, just… didn't know it had a _flag_ ," Jon says, trying and failing not to sound defensive.

Martin doesn't say anything, but he shifts his hand, dislodging Jon's finger from the bracelet and pulling his hands into his sleeves a little.

They sit in silence for a few breaths, before Martin speaks again.

"It has a flag," he starts, slowly, "because it's meaningful. It's an identity, something you can know about yourself and be proud of. It's.. part of _my_ identity, that I don't want to hide. It… gives me a language to talk about who I am and what I want. What I _don't_ want, a lot of the time."

"I'm sorry," Jon says. "I didn't mean it like that. I just… I really didn't know there was a flag."

Martin sighs, but he shifts closer, lifting his arm for Jon to crawl in underneath. They forgive easily, these days.

"There are many ways to identify," Martin says, eventually.

"I know that."

"Many flags."

"I _know_."

"Many things you can be proud of…?"

Silence.

"Jon." Serious voice. "Now you say, 'I know'."

Jon curls into Martin's chest.

"Jon… I don't want to assume anything about you, but I'm fairly sure there are some… flags that might apply. You don't need to, you know, fly them or anything, but… I need you to know that you could. If you wanted."

Jon sniffles a little. "I'm not used to thinking about myself like that. When I think of pride, I think of things I've accomplished, not things I _am_."

"That sounds like a lot of pressure."

"Yes, hello, have we met?"

Martin laughs a little. "Seriously though. You can _absolutely_ be proud of what you are. You're alive, aren't you? That's both a state _and_ an accomplishment."

Jon tries it out. "Alive and… asexual".

"Well, I certainly am. Among other things."

"I meant me, though."

"Oh. Well. Like I said, I didn't want to assume."

Jon finds Martin's left hand. He pushes the sleeve up a little, bringing the bracelets back out into the light.

"I am, though. I guess. No… I _am_. I just never thought it would feel good to actually say it."

"Did it?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"So, the flag…"

"Black, grey, white and purple. One day, I'll make you one of these, if you want."

"I… might. Thank you."

They will talk more about these things, Jon is fairly certain. It might not be easy. But it's easy enough to curl back into Martin's chest, to put a protective hand around his wrist and the quiet pride of his well-worn bracelets.

**Author's Note:**

> So. Jon is bi ace, canonically and in this story. This is a tiny ficlet, and I couldn't get the bi part expressly in there a way that felt natural. It's a discussion about pride and asexuality, first and foremost. In my head, this discussion will (as Jon suspects) be followed by others, where they learn to talk more openly about aspects of their identities, as well as navigate and negotiate their relationship. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> I am also [mollysynthetic](https://mollysynthetic.tumblr.com) at Tumblr. Come talk to me about The Magnus Archives!


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